there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
