He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
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You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
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Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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