It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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