i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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