we're making bets on your personal life
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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