I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
