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It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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