I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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