Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
