Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
