I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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