I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
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Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
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I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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