dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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