Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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