Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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