i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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