Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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