I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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