Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
