I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
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She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
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We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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