I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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