i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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