i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
