Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
