He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
