I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
you never un-have a 4some
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