Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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