You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
