I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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