Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
