Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
