so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
