I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
