i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
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WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
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You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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