I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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