Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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