I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
