Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize