walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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