I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
