If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
we're so committed to being not committed
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
