He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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