I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
