I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
