booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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