i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize