you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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