Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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