Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
