You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
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