Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
