i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize