I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
