saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
