Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
