Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
