the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
