Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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