he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
it glows. i had to have it.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
