Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I got inside last night via doggy door
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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