Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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