I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Sober January is a disaster.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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